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Talking Points: 7 Steps to Conflict Resolution
June 6, 2018, 8:08 AM

Step 1 look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith

  • We need to first have our focus on the Lord. When resolution is our goal then the conflict or our differences will not be our focus.
  • We first resolve the issue with God before we try to resolve the issue with someone else, including our self.
  • When we know what God and His word has to say about it then we can be convinced what the truth is.

Step 2 examining ourselves

  • What is our motive – our reason for our actions? What is our attitude – our beliefs, thoughts, emotions and feelings? What is our approach – the manner that we do what we do?
  • Motive and attitude will determine our approach.
  • If we put God and His word first then love will dominate our motives and attitude and will influence our approach.

Step 3 downsize and de-escalate

  • Do not involve anyone that is not directly involved and don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill.
  • Keep it private and keep it a win/win.

After we have put our focus on the Lord, considered our self and any planks. After we have downsized and de-escalated we are ready to take the fourth step.

Step 4 the other person

  • What is your relationship to the person? A spouse, a parent, a child, a church member?
  • The connection starts the direction for resolution. We don’t treat people like they are our children if they are not our children.

Step 5 timing

  • Timing is about when and how long.
  • Just because we think it is the right time does not mean that it is.
  • God is never going to tell you to interrupt the preaching of His word or the moving of His Spirit.
  • Trying to talk it out when someone is angry can cause more harm.
  • People who drag it out are only trying to get their way. If they liked the results they wouldn’t go on and on.

Step 6 location

  • Where you talk can determine if you will have a resolution or a greater fallout.
  • Remember, you and the other person will live with the memory of that moment and with the benefits or disadvantages.

Step 7 pursue peace

  • The Bible tells us to seek peace and pursue it.
  • When we do good to others God is able to use us to help them in their time of need.
  • Remember “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord